


Goodnight, Ayumu

by keiperbe1t



Category: Love Live! School Idol Festival ALL STARS (Video Game), ラブライブ! 虹ヶ咲学園スクールアイドル同好会 | Love Live! Nijigasaki Gakuen School Idol Doukoukai (Anime)
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Angst, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, it has a happy ending don't worry lgbtq community
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:14:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28166103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keiperbe1t/pseuds/keiperbe1t
Summary: "I can't be yours, Ayumu. Just the same as you can't be mine."-Just a short story about Yuu comforting her dear childhood friend.
Relationships: Takasaki Yuu/Uehara Ayumu
Comments: 6
Kudos: 61





	Goodnight, Ayumu

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE this is so rushed I just wanted to write some h/c before episode 12 releases and all my headcanons are jossed so pardon the mess and mistakes 😭😭😭
> 
> Post Ep.12 edit: GOD THAT EPISODE WAS PERFECT YCUJDJSKDKCLLDKCLKDMMV IF GOD HATES THE GAYS WHY DO WE KEEP WINNING

_"Please just belong to me."_

The words continue loudly inside of Yuu's head, and reverberates like a single note entangled by the sustain pedal. It slowly rings out, and eventually fades away as silence permeates the room. She's paralyzed. It takes her a moment to realize the predicament she's in, and the overall gravity of the situation.

All she'd wanted was for a lighthearted conversation with her best friend about the future she planned for them to share together.

But here Ayumu was, who came here doubting if she was gonna be in it.

Yuu could feel Ayumu shaking, taking in shallow breaths as though tears were about to spill. And, once she could feel a dampness seep into her shoulder, it eventually does. She blinks. She's still caught flat-footed, but the current of circumstances her childhood friend awakes her from stagnation. The arm she had upheld slowly went down and settled into Ayumu's back, as she rubbed gentle circles on it. She paid attention to how Ayumu would reactーshe tensed, but shortly eased afterwards. However, the gesture still could not hold back tears long overdue as Ayumu buried herself deeper into the crook of Yuu's neck. Perhaps she believed that being hidden from Yuu's eyes would save her some shame.

Yuu listens to the muffled sobs of her best friend. It's not the first time Ayumu had cried during their friendship, and she's certainly sure it wouldn't be the last. It's the first time she cried thinking that she was gonna lose Yuu, though.

She's not.

Yuu isn't blind. She'd seen how her best friend's demeanour would suddenly change whenever she recruited yet another member for the club, or when she'd show her love for any idol other that Ayumu.

She knows Ayumu isn't selfish, she just needed a little assurance. It... confused her a little, to see how much doubt and insecurities Ayumu had. They'd been together all their lives after all. It's not something she herself ever doubted. But despite that, Yuu doesn't blame her. Never did. It's not always about understanding, sometimes it's just about supporting someone even though you couldn't understand them sometimes. Yuu had prepared to assure her if it'd finally happened, when Ayumu would fall apart at the seams.

That time was now.

Which is why it was incredibly easy for her to refute whether or not Setsuna was more important to her.

Yuu has nothing against the raven haired girl. And in fact, it's always a delight to talk to her about their shared fervour for school idols; it's something she even looks forward to. But bonding over same the interests with that girl could never dispute a lifetime of friendship with Ayumu. Not one bit.

Ayumu is important to her, and so much more.

Even though she'd profusely prepared for this situation specifically, she's tongue tied. She wishes she could say it all in one go, that Ayumu's place in Yuu's life was so much more significant than what the girl would tell herself.

But she can't.

And the moment she's realizes that, Ayumu's already questioning her place in her arms, as she's slowly, ever so slightly, pulling away. And for a moment, Yuu just lets her. With the current state of the peach haired girl, it sincerely felt as though at a single touch she might break. Yuu was still dazed. But most importantly, she was afraid. Afraid of what might happen if she grasped her dear childhood friend so suddenly.

Ayumu was fragile like that.

But the thought that Ayumu might crumble and shut down and suddenly run for her room immediately propelled her to grab her. No matter how messy things get, and whatever it takes, she won't let Ayumu deal with her feelings alone.

Yuu embraces her tighter, and Ayumu lets out a little squeal. Yuu felt ashamed. For at the moment, that was all she could offer. Where did all her words go?

But perhaps, at the moment, that's all what Ayumu needed.

Yuu still wanted to say something, though. But it's silly, instead of words, all she could think about was how nice Ayumu smelled, and how she felt warm in her arms, and how their bodies fitted together like a jigsaw puzzle, and how she didn't mind that Ayumu was dampening her bed, and how her muffled sobs were kind of cute, and how she involuntarily hugs Ayumu even tighter, and how she can hear the squeaks in Ayumu's voice when she does, and how she can feel Ayumu's beating heart louder this way.

Just... her.

Did actions speak louder than words? Yuu hopes. She hopes Ayumu knows how important she was to her just with her pathetic hug.

It takes them a while to change their position. But when they do, Yuu scoots over and, without words, invites Ayumu over to lay down with her. And Ayumu does. In that moment, she couldn't tell if she was thankful or not that her couch-bed had too little space that it practically squeezed them together. It's no time to be shy now, but she really could feel a blush slowly creep into her cheeks when she could finally see her best friend's crying face.

Yuu stares at her with such a tender and loving gaze as she continued to sob. And after she's calmed down a little, Ayumu returns her gaze.

Maybe something magical happens.

Maybe it was just because of the tears, but maybe Ayumu's eyes started glistening like gold underneath the protruding moonlight. And maybe even her own eyes started glistening, too. Maybe their hearts started beating in sync. Maybe they held their breaths at the exact same time.

And maybe for a milisecond, they understood each other without any words.

Maybe it is magic.

But magic or not, she knows it's only possible because it's Ayumu that's in front of her. And without a second thought, Yuu closes the distance between them.

With a kiss.

It wasn't perfect, she admits. Hell, it was more of a peck that caught Ayumu unprepared, considering the way her body flinched due to the contact.

Maybe Ayumu even got mad at her.

She's not one to stereotype, but Ayumu was always the kind of girl who loved girly things, so maybe she'd dreamt about her first kiss as something more magical than a mere smack on the lips. The silence is heavy, and Yuu immediately wanted to turn away due to the embarrassment.

But Ayumu wasn't mad.

Instead, she kisses Yuu back. This time Ayumu took the lead, and this time she let her lips linger a bit longerーunheld by fear. And it stays there long enough for Yuu to return the deed. It felt warm and cozy, like going home. The familiarity of the person in front of them melding with the unfamiliar experience of kissing.

It's ironic, the sweetest moment of Yuu's life tasted salty.

After they parted, they just stare at each other; both equally breathless.

Even if actions really did speak louder than words, Yuu isn't leaving any room in Ayumu's mind for any doubt.

Not anymore.

"I love you, Ayumu."

Ayumu starts to cry again.

"I promised I was going to see this dream through with you, and I really will."

Louder.

"I'm always going to be by your side, you know?"

Even louder.

"And I'll repeat these words no matter how many until you believe them."

And now she weeps.

"It's okay, you can cry all you want, I'll still be here."

Yuu hugs her.

"I love you."

Tighter.

"I really do."

They stay like that for a long time.

* * *

A few cuddles and a few glasses of water later, Ayumu has notably calmed. They switched places, because Yuu didn't want her to accidentally fall off the bed. Yuu was laying upwards, while she was nestled comfortably into her side. 

Her girlfriend (it's safe to assume she was, right?) was staring at the ceiling, mulling something over. Now that she feels a little better, Ayumu sincerely wanted to apologize for her interruption, and also wanted to ask what Yuu's dream actually was. 

But the moment didn't feel right, and she felt exhausted. She'll just ask Yuu tomorrow. For now, only today existed. 

"Yuu-chan," she says, her voice a little hoarse. 

"Hm?"

"Please don't make me fall asleep."

Yuu smiles at her. "Why not? You're probably exhausted." Ayumu fights off a yawn, but ultimately loses it, which prompts Yuu's smile to grow even wider. "See?"

"But I feel like this is all just a dream, and when I close my eyes then wake up, you'll be gone."

And now Yuu's smile falters. "Ayumu, Iー"

"Please," her voice, as fragile as it already were, fell into a gentle whispering plead. "If I don't fall asleep, today won't have to end. I don't want today to end. Tomorrow brings about too many anxieties that make my heart ache. It overwhelms me a lot to the point that I almost shut down. So please... just this once, don't let me fall asleep."

"Ayumu..."

"What if when tomorrow comes you won't be mine anymore? I don't want tomorrow to take you away from me."

Yuu pauses, and there's a visual hesitation that gives Ayumu unease. "But I am not yours, Ayumu."

"E-eh?"

Quickly, Yuu turns to face her fully, as though afraid she might fall apart again. "People can't be owned." Yuu takes a deep breath, and musters up the softest voice she can manage. 

"But they can choose."

Ayumu widens her eyes. 

"I can't be yours, Ayumu. Just the same as you can't be mine. But I can promise that I'll choose you, and will always keep on choosing you."

Yuu envelops her in a tight embrace.

"Because I love you."

Even though Yuu couldn't hear anything, she could feel a dampness in her shoulder yet again.

"You crybaby."

* * *

Omake

"Hm, I was the one who couldn't sleep," Yuu mumbles to herself as she lay supine in her bed that was occupied by two.

"I guess I was the one who made your wish come true, huh?" She chuckles, and turns to fully face herーgirlfriend now? She'll have to clear that up with her tomorrow.

"I hope whatever you're dreaming, I'm in there, too."

She plants a kiss on Ayumu's forehead, and the sleeping girl's expression eases. 

"Goodnight, Ayumu."

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for clickbaiting y'all in the summary. I wrote this mainly in Yuu's perspective because between their ship she always gets the shorter end of the stick in terms of feelings. So yeah, I really wanted this fic to feel that Yuu loves her dear childhood friend just as much. Ayumu deserves all the love, okay?
> 
> I'll probably edit this some time in the future because it's so messy lmao.
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Shameless twitter plug: @keiperbe1t


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